Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Kambakkht Ishq: After-thoughts

I am not going to talk about how bad Kambakkht Ishq is. I am not going to talk about how loose the plot is. I am not going to talk about the senseless songs which pops in without any reason or season like eunuchs in sleeper class bogies of Indian Railways. I am also not going to talk about the just-for-the-heck-of-it 'item fight' (analogous to item song) sequence done by the great Sylvester Stallone. I am not going to talk about any such things. These are characteristics of most so-called main stream commercial cinema. And also, these are highlighted by most reviewers (and I am not going to play Anu Malik, Pritam or a software engineer here) . I would bring to forth things that make this film truly different.

This film gives us a new way to get people to shut up. You must have wished to shut your ever-complaining spouse when you forget to get that special ingredient while coming from office. Or you forget to make sure that his suit is pressed before that very important meeting. You also would have wished to shut your boss up when s/he gives some illogical reasons for not giving you that hike/promotion/leave/onsite-offer which you think you deserve. Kambakkht Ishq shows you a way. When Kareena (Bebo) was shouting at Akshay on the 'characteristics' of men, Akshay shut her mouth, literally, with his. So, now you know what to do when you want to shut Rakhi Sawant up!
Well, if you think this is cheap and rickshaw-wala standard, I'd leave that to you.

Kambakkht Ishq, also, shows us a new way to make an otherwise short dress look hotter. If you want to look hot, bend down by 37 degress. Make sure the camera is focused at those parts of the body which wouldn't have been otherwise visible had you not bent down and give a shake your garment the way you would do an almost-full-container so that it (the container) can have room for more flour. And do it just before you want to look hot. The effect may be lost after some time. Reminds you of some B grade movie? Well, if you think this is cheap and rickshaw-wala standard, I'd leave that to you.

This movie also helps us in cost cutting. A metal watch with alarm is 'left' into Akhshay's belly when Bebo operates him. Even then, Akshay doesn't have any 'side effects'. The next time you get a cut through some metallic object, don't rush for an antiseptic or tetanus injection. Chill. Nothing will happen. Just as nothing happened to Akshay. If you find this illogical, I'd leave it to you.

There are movies which are good and there are movies which are bad. There are good movies which you may not like and there are bad movies which you may like. Kambakkht Ishq falls into none of these category. If you feel the treatment of the illogical subject illustrated with very ordinary acting and intermixed with uncalled-for songs was cheap and rickshaw-wala standard, I'd leave that to you. It's your prerogative.

Cheers!

13 comments:

Abhishek Poddar July 8, 2009 at 10:46 AM  

dude i totally agree with you.the movie is illogical but differnt.
the "SHUT UP" technique is really one of its kind.
But as we say something is better than nothing.After arnd 3 months of drought if u offer something even though its "KAMBAKHT ISHQ" types its accepted.you can make this out frm the box office collections.

Maliha July 8, 2009 at 3:39 PM  

you couldnt have written this 2 days ago?? I would have been saved from an unfortunate experience. I do NOT know the words that this movie deserves.. it makes Tashan look like "Mother India".

Btw I loved ur style of writing, almost worth the horrible experience ;)

here i am barik July 8, 2009 at 5:38 PM  

Great writing Prashant.........loved the roundabout way of saying ctrl+c & ctrl+v............but should've posted little earlier...that would have saved me 2 hours of disgusting experience....truly, Akki can't offer anything else other than these kind of trash dramas these days..........

Deepabali July 9, 2009 at 12:36 AM  

fun to read... especially because there was a generous element of sarcasm

Deepabali July 9, 2009 at 12:38 AM  

was fun to read... especially because of the generous element of sarcasm in it

Debashis Banerjee July 9, 2009 at 10:59 AM  

I really enjoyed this piece

Prashant Mehta July 9, 2009 at 11:15 AM  

@Debashis

By "this piece", did you mean the movie "Kambakkht Ishq"? :-P

Lavanya July 9, 2009 at 1:03 PM  

That was quite hilarious! Looks like all of Akshay's movies are proving to be duds!

avisek July 9, 2009 at 11:12 PM  

Thanks Prashant for saving 200 bucks and 3 hours of my life !!

Now I am not going to watch the movie even if I am offered a free ticket :)

Sagar July 10, 2009 at 9:28 PM  

Great review Prashant.. Havent sseen the movie and I have no intention to do so now.. Loved ur nomenclature of people who "internalise" things.. N ya, Akshay is getting repetitive these days with his brand of comedy which has ( and I dont leave it to anybody ;-) ) gone stale.

deicider July 13, 2009 at 9:15 AM  

Hi Prashant u are a superb snob!
What do you mean by rickshawwallah standard,even they wouldnot do something as uncultured as kissing a shouting Kareena Kapoor.So on behalf of all the rickshawwallahs in the world I protest.I loved your fist paragraph where you listed the things that you didnot want to say about kambakht ishq.That is where your whole review should have ended.The last line should have been "And I am not going to talk about Kambakht Ishq at all."

Biswajit Biswas July 15, 2009 at 7:42 PM  

"I am not going to talk about the senseless songs which pops in without any reason or season like eunuchs in sleeper class bogies of Indian Railways", the best part of the blog, and I would like to thak you that you took all the pain and saved my penny in this time of ression.
Thak you dude.

Dr Bhanu Pratap Singh July 16, 2009 at 2:14 PM  

HI Prashant
you raised good points but will you beleive that a Girl who is true virgin( as she hates man) was informed by some other person that Akshay didnt do anything with her when she was lying in bed with him and she was thinking that Akshay did evertything he can on that day(Night). Thanks GOD Akshay informed his friend about his inability otherwise she may be under impression of being physical contact with him and may be pregnant.

and remember all such thing happens when So called SUPER HEROES interfere in director's Work

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